Isaac, in the Bible, was the son of the promise that God made to Abraham. The Abrahamic Covenant was fulfilled in Isaac. It is no coincidence that years ago Curtis and I had decided to name our second son Isaac William Wentling. Now every time I hear Isaac's name I am reminded the promises that God has made to me. So, before I dive into exactly what is going on with our sweet son I wanted to type a few of the promises down. God will NEVER leave me or forsake me! He will NEVER put me through anything that isn't for my good and most importantly for HIS glory. God does not make mistakes! God forms our inward parts and knits us in our mother's womb. We are, you are, every baby is fearfully and wonderfully made!!
With that said...we found out last Tuesday during my mid-pregnancy ultrasound that Isaac was missing a part of his left forearm and his left hand. The radiologist stated that he saw his right hand clearly and the left upper arm, his left elbow and then it was a clear stopping point. This obviously came as a shock to Curtis and I. The radiologist also said that everything else seemed healthy and normal size. I initially handled it with grace and even a little humor stating that it was obvious he wouldn't be left handed. As we headed toward the elevator, the speechless shocking part was over and the tears started flowing. I was feeling guilty like it was my fault, I was feeling pity towards myself, pity towards Isaac, and questions of "how" such as, how will he be able to crawl? How will he be able to button his clothes, zip a zipper? How hard will it be when he is frustrated with the things he won't be able to do? How will we handle when he gets stared at and made fun of in school? I cried for the majority of the rest of the day.
The next day was my regular monthly appointment. My doctor said that he personally had never seen this before and instantly referred us to the Maternal Fetal Medicine department of the hospital. By Wednesday night I was feeling pretty much normal again. I knew that being worried over it was not going to help me or Isaac, however it was still heavy on my heart because I could feel the stress actually in my legs of all places. Wednesday night I also started meditating on Psalms 139, specifically verses 13-16
13 For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
I then decided how foolish of me to feel guilty or worried. This missing hand is NOT a malformation, it is a GOD formation! This is the way that God has formed him! God does not and can not make mistakes! HE is the ONE who has formed Isaac, HE is the ONE who knitted him together in my womb. Isaac is FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made! And THAT is stinking awesome and incredible! PRAISE GOD!
That brings us up to today. We saw the MFM doctors and had a really long ultrasound to confirm the other technician and sure enough, his wrist and hand are gone. I thought that I would cry when I saw it, but God's grace carried me through. After talking to a Genetic counselor and seeing the doctor, they are strongly leaning that this is a isolated incident, everything else on Isaac is right on! We will have another ultrasound in about 4 weeks to get measurements that he is still too small for. We may never know scientifically what happened to his wrist and hand. We are leaning that a amniotic band(that is formed early) wrapped around his limb and as he grew the band became tighter, cutting off the circulation, and finally severing the limb completely off and then the limb being so small was reabsorbed into the amniotic fluid.
I am not worried about the labor or delivery but I would appreciate and covet your prayers for raising Isaac in the fear of the Lord. I am already praying that I would not coddle him or show pity towards him. It is going to be difficult for me to remember that I need to train and discipline him the same way I did/do with my other three kids. I need to hold him to the same standard. I don't want him growing up expecting pity from the world. That is going to be hard. Again, thank you for your prayers, continue to pray for us, as we continue to pray for you!